A letter to my eldest son

We were driving down the road today I was compelled to tell you how wonderful I think you are. I am pretty sure you know, but sometimes it is nice to hear. I am proud of the young man that you have become and I want you to know everyday of your life that you are better than him. I know that this year has been hard and certain things have lost some of there shine. I know that in certain aspects of your life that you have had to move from a childish view of the world to a more grown up view. Please remember every day of your life that you are loved and wanted. The path that someone has chosen is not a reflection of any fault in you, but a reflection of a deep flaw within him. Please trust me when I say that it is not you who is broken, but him. He is a small weak person who has missed out on the greatest gift that was ever given to him. He has missed out on a funny, kind compassionate young man, who is probably one of the most talented human beings to ever grace the face of the earth. I know that he has hurt you and I am sorry for that. I am sorry for the part that I played in causing you that pain. We were young and both broken. Unfortunately he is not capable of fixing what is broken in his soul. I do not think that it is fixable and I think that you are right to walk away. I, on the other hand, know that you are what fixed what was broken with in me. There are few people with the exception of family who knew me before you. Those that are still around will attest to the fact that it was a small boy that grounded me. I had lost my joy in life and I found it in the face of a boy named Evan. I am honored and over joyed to know that I have had a hand in making you the person that you are today. You and Hayden are the greatest joys that I will ever know. In spite of the fact that you are so loved, I still see that you have been hurt by an idiot that I knew years ago. I know that for so long you expected more of him, and have finally excepted that he is incapable of coming through for you. I see you listening to father of mine by Everclear and I know that you feel like you can relate. I see the brief look in your eyes when someone says that you look like him, or sound like him. It used to be a look of pride and as of late it has shifted to a look of disdain. Let me tell you right now - You have only the best parts of that man. You possess a sharp wit and a wry eye for the world. You move like him, you sound like him, but that is it. There is none of the nastiness, the callousness, or the general disregard for everyone but yourself in you. Not one ounce and don't ever think for a minute that there is. The best parts of you come from me and my family and the people who have cared for you and loved you since the day you were born. You are such an amazing person that you managed to just inherit that good parts of a terrible person. Well I have rambled on here long enough. I just wanted to remind you that I love you, think you are wonderful, and am honored to be graced with your presence everyday. You truly are one of my best friends.